The Upside of Boredom

It's August. And as a mom you are either about to lock your kids in their rooms until your hubby gets home, or bust open the wine bottle at lunch time. The kids have seen A LOT of each other this summer. They have been to every pool, every playground, and on every playdate. You try to mix up their days with fun activities, but the inevitable "I'm bored" still manages to come out of their mouths.

Why is it that we hear that and we immediately scramble to come up with ideas for our kids to do? I can't tell you how many times my kids have said this and then I put together a whole page full of ideas that they can pick from and they simply turn their nose up to all of them.

Why do kids constantly need to be entertained? Is it perhaps that we are modeling this behavior for our kids? Are we having to have plans every weekend? Are we running from soccer, to basketball, to book club, to church, etc.?

Or let me ask you an even tougher question...when was the last time you said "No" to something? As a people pleaser...this is a real tough question for me. Someone wants another photo shoot this weekend. Myles class really needs a room mom and no one else is stepping up, Parker's teams needs someone to host the end of the year banquet, etc. I am guilt as charged.

This has been something on my heart lately. At what point is my "busyness" hurting myself and my family and not helping everyone(which is my intention of not saying "no.") I'm not saying quit everything, sit on your porch and drink lemonade every day. That would be nice...but not realistic.

I'm saying, find the balance. Say yes to some, but say NO to others. Allow yourself to be at home with no plans on certain evenings. Allow for a date night where you're not constantly being entertained and truly enjoying each other's presence. When was the last time you seriously went on a walk and talked? Sat in your screened in porch and listened to music together or even had a slow dance? You can do it. Stand up for your precious time and reflect on what you're what demonstrating is the "normal" for your kids.

So back to those kiddos. Those kiddos that say they are bored, but want nothing to do with your suggestions. Here's my suggestion...wait for it... DO NOT HELP THEM.

Wait, what? How can we do this? We are their moms, and that is part of our DNA... Yea, I know. I'll tell you what I mean.

When you provide activities or even suggestions of things to do, it doesn't allow them to be creative and dig deep. Can they walk into a room, see a couch, blankets, pillows, and come up with on their own to build a fort? Can they collect walnuts from your tree and get the hammer to discover what's inside them? Can they see their race car track that they haven't played with in months, and use it to build a Rube Goldberg machine? What will they come up with? How deep will they dig into their little brains to find something that is creative, fun, and entertaining? It pushes them...and that, my friends, is a good thing. THAT is the upside of boredom.

This past week we were "bored," so I sent them outside. "Go, play, get dirty, build something, just go." Now when I say this... I very much am a hovering mama bear so I can always see them from the house. But I was very surprised what I found this day. And frankly very proud. (After watching them for a little bit I decided to grab my camera and capture those cute little brains in their glory.)

They boys found some old wood that Blake had laying around and they decided to place it across the irrigation ditch in our backyard. They launched each other, they practiced their balance beam routines, they sweet talked their dad into launching them, and they even had a mud ball fight. Did they need to be hosed down afterwards...yes. But did they come up with this all on their own? Absolutely!